CUSHWELL GIRLS

a fan-maintained shrine • est. 2016 • last updated 2026-05-05

kissy faces 4ever — OML

Two women. One frequency. A nation of admirers. Welcome to the only Cushwell fanpage on the entire internet — proudly maintained by the fanclub since the day they walked into Filthfest and didn’t walk back out the same.

I started this page because somewhere out there, a girl is about to discover the Cushwell Girls for the first time, and I refuse to let her do it without context. Every great duo in the history of recorded culture has had a fanpage, and the Cushwells deserved theirs in 2016. This is six years late. I’m sorry, queens. Let’s go.

MEET THE GIRLS

Name: Chanté
Known for: Bad bitchery. The kind of read that ends a friendship and a career in one sentence.
Zone: Sporty Spice meets Baby Spice. Pastel running shorts, pink Air Maxes, bow in the ponytail. Never sweats.
Her song: “Unwritten” — Natasha Bedingfield
Catchphrase: “bye bitch”
Secret talent: National taekwondo champion. Yes, really. Don’t.
What makes her awesome: dem cakes doe.

Chanté doesn’t roast you. She bitches you to filth. There is no shred of skin left when she’s done. And then she says “bye bitch” and goes back to humming Natasha Bedingfield.

Name: Britelle
Known for: Doing everything. Cigarettes, Hennessy, the audacity, the Tuesday.
Zone: Earthworm Jim. Leopard, Von Dutch, glitter eye, neon lash, somehow it works.
Her song: “Toxic” — Britney Spears
Catchphrase: “I’m on everything”
Secret talent: Leg-wrestling champion of the Pacific Northwest. (No, really. There was a sash.)
What makes her awesome: [CLASSIFIED]

the truth is nobody can name it. and that’s the thing.

You can’t describe Britelle. You can list things she has done. You can list things she has consumed. You cannot describe her. The blonde streak. The leopard cap. The eyelid glitter at 11am. She is on everything and everything is on her.

EXCLUSIVE

Two Women, One Frequency: The Filthfest Incident of ’16

FILED BY: the webmistress DATELINE: the streets

It was 2016. The festival was Filthfest. The lineup is lost to history. The mud was real. Two women — one in pastel, one in leopard — locked eyes across a crowd, and the universe completed a circuit it had been waiting twenty-six years to close. They have been open-mouth laughing ever since. Witnesses: too many to interview.

OML

Open. Mouth. Laughing.

If you have not seen the Cushwell Girls open-mouth laugh in unison, you have not yet lived a complete life. It is louder than it should be. It is wider than it should be. It is the sound of two people who agreed in 2016 that nothing is ever going to be that serious, and they have not been wrong since. OML forever.

THE HITS

TRACK 01

Unwritten

Natasha Bedingfield

for Chanté

“feel the rain on your skin / no one else can feel it for you.”

Chanté’s anthem. The reason she’s incapable of being told what to do.

TRACK 02

Toxic

Britney Spears

for Britelle

“there’s no escape, I can’t wait, I need a hit.”

Britelle would like everyone to know this is autobiographical.

TRACK 03

Collide

Howie Day

for the duo

“the dawn is breaking, a light shining through.”

The Cushwell theme. Plays in their heads when they walk into a room. Plays in your head once you’ve met them.

THE PHOTO WALL

The duo in matching wing cat-eye sunglasses, kissy faces, color photo. — kissy faces in the wing shades 4ever

The duo in a black-and-white heavy-bordered shot, leopard cap on the blonde, glamorous. — literally the only valid use of leopard

PHOTOS
COMING SOON
xoxo
tap to add

filthfest origin energy OML

MORE PIX!!! »

And when you ask where they belong — the answer is always, and only, and forever, THE STREETS.

xXsparklepixie03Xx — Mar 2017: “I drove four hours to see Chanté bitch someone to filth in person. Worth it. 10/10.”
babygirl_2k — Aug 2019: “Britelle smiled at me at a gas station in 2018 and I haven’t been the same person since.”
anon — last week: “is this site real.”
leopardprintqueen — Feb 2021: “saw the OML in person at a denny’s in tukwila. it cured my seasonal depression. tag: OML”
toxic_4_britelle — Jul 2022: “every time Toxic comes on at karaoke I feel her in the room. there’s no escape. I can’t wait. I need a hit.”
streets_correspondent — yesterday: “you can’t put them in a building. they belong to the streets and the streets belong to them. that’s the whole tweet.”